


5 + 1 Times that Merlin saw Harry cry (and the one time he didn't)

by Galahard



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I used a random name generator for Eggsy's sister's name, M/M, Oh god the tag for Mr. Pickle is Mr. Pickles D: Stahp, Technically this has Hartwin, because it's a crying prompt duh, but its not the focus so I didn't want to tag it and people find it looking for normal Hartwin fics, much more focused on Merlin and Harry's friendship, so this time she is Lucy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4419398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galahard/pseuds/Galahard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anon prompt on tumblr: I'd like to see a fic of the times that Merlin has seen Harry cry (like maybe once for his mother and the other times all for eggsy, on their wedding etc...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 + 1 Times that Merlin saw Harry cry (and the one time he didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbetaed, I wrote it at like 2am, I'm sure there are typos so feel free to point them out if you see something~

He was taking a walk, trying to calculate the possibilities of him passing the physical side of their increasingly difficult tasks (and mostly ignoring the increasing feeling that he didn’t even want to be a Kingsman) and stumbling across Harry was a complete accident.

It was good to see the other candidate, a genuinely _good_ person in a field of idiots that kept trying to use their names to get them places, even though all of them had a name so it wasn’t like it was anything special. Considering that he was actually willing to approach him, and he had already closed the distance between them (and called out Harry’s name) when he actually realized what was happening.

Harry was crying. 

The young man’s eyes were puffy and red, his shirt sleeves crumpled and smeared with snot and tears, so apparently he’d been without a handkerchief. Still he tried a weak smile at seeing him, motioning him closer with a simple gesture with his free hand, the other buried in Mr. Pickle’s fur, and there was no way he could simply walk away from Harry like this. He deserved more than that.

“It’s my mum.”

The other candidate’s voice was rough, hoarse from the emotions that had stripped his dignity from him. “They still don’t know what caused it.”

He didn’t know what to say, so instead he took a seat next to Harry, within reach but trying to leave a boundary, open to be crossed if he wanted to.

“I’m sorry for your lose,” he found himself saying, knowing it wasn’t enough but not having anything else to say. Instead he simply tried to be as earnest as he could be, and then tried not to feel too awkward at the silence that followed, broken only by the slight sounds of movement as Harry edged closer, leaning against him.

“I should have been there,” Harry said some time later. Perhaps five minutes, possibly fifteen, he couldn’t be bothered to keep track.

“You couldn’t have known,” he pointed out, but it seemed like it wasn’t enough. So instead he stayed put, refusing to leave his friend’s side as they stared out from their corner of the garden. 

\-----------

“I can’t do it.” 

Merlin hovered in the doorway of his house, surprised to see Harry actually on his doorstep, a small bundle in his arms.

“I thought I could go through with it but I can’t. I’m not strong enough.”

He’d only seen Harry like this once, and he’d never wanted to see it again. “It has to be done,” he reminded Harry, voice gentle, but he knew the words were pointless. Knew that Harry knew the logistics and it was something his brain wouldn’t wrap around. “Do you want me to take him?”

“Would you? Stay with him?”

“Of course.” He put a hand out, grasping Harry’s shoulder until the man looked up to meet his eyes. “He’s in pain, Harry. It’s time to say goodbye.”

Resignation filled his eyes before he closed them, keeping them shut before giving a quick nod of assent.

\-----------

“FUCK YOU!” He watched through the feed as Harry continued to yell obscenities, emptying his clips into the men coming after them before reloading them in a movement that any professional would be proud of, because that’s what Harry was. Professional.

Even though Merlin could see the tears in his eyes through Eggsy’s glasses any time the older man passed through his field of vision.

Well, the camera’s field of vision. Behind the glasses there was nothing, nothing conscious anyway. There was still a faint blip that proved he was alive, but the heartbeat that he monitored was slowing, and nothing he could do could help that. Backup was on the way, but his hands were tied.

It wasn’t until after Lancelot had arrived in a blaze of fury that Harry’s face really came into focus through Eggsy’s glasses. “Wake up,” he insisted, the words breaking as they left his mouth. “Please.”

He stayed that way until their medical team forced him to back away, his field of vision showing only Eggsy as he trailed after them.

“He’ll be okay,” Merlin confirmed as soon as he was able, listening to the sigh of relief before continuing. “Down for a bit but maybe we can make him catch up on his paperwork. Plus he’ll probably be busy with his boyfriend as soon as you get your head out of your arse and ask him out. After that little stunt of yours you can’t expect to deny it any longer.”

The silence from the other end of the line was all that he needed to hear.

\-----------

“Are you kidding me?”

Harry looked up from his whisky, and Merlin winced as he nodded. 

“I give up.” Harry’s voice had an edge of hysteria to it, and while that alone wasn’t enough to make him truly feel bad the tears pricking at the edge of his eyes were. 

“I’m just calling off the wedding. The universe has made it pretty damn clear it’s a shit idea.”

“Stop being a drama queen,” Merlin said, quickly checking through his clipboard to make sure that no, there was absolutely no one else that could possibly take this mission.

“A drama queen? The first time it was put off because someone was trying to turn the lions in Trafalgar Square into animatronics that would in turn act out a video game and try to stuff humans into frankly disturbing suits, the second time someone else decided to dump drugs into the Thames in a misguided attempt to turn people into mermaids, and then there were three assassination attempts in a row we had to foil. You can’t tell me this is some higher power telling us this was a horrible idea.”

“I can, and I will. Now I need you both on that plane as of fifteen minutes ago, but I think I can an officiary on there with you before take off. Have you ever considered taking your vows while skydiving?”

\-----------

This was an actual first, and it wasn’t one he enjoyed. He stood next to Harry, trying to manfully ignore the tears leaking out of his eyes (not all that unheard of) but next to him was Eggsy, tears coursing freely down his face.

Even Michelle looked a bit perturbed at the sheer number of tears being shed.

“All of this for the graduation?” He couldn’t keep the skepticism out of his voice, nor did he really try to. “I hate to think of what you’ll be like when she actually moves out.”

He didn’t miss the look that quickly flashed across his agents’ faces, or the glance that darted between them. Apparently he was going to have to teach Lucy how to cover her tracks when there were two spies that probably were not going to give her a moment to herself otherwise.

All while keeping half an eye on her himself of course. It wouldn’t do to have her in danger.

\-----------

Eggsy handed over a tissue, and he took it wordlessly, blowing his nose even as he reached for another.

It didn’t matter that the man was laid out before him, clipboard nestled under his arm. It didn’t seem real. It shouldn’t be possible. They were the ones that went into the field and did the stupid things, were fired at on a regular basis.

And yet here he was, looking down at the man that had seen him through more of his life than he cared to admit, and whom looked, well, not all that peaceful honestly. His brows still looked slightly furrowed, as if he was debating whether to call him out on some stupid stunt he’d just pulled or if there was something there he’d want to file away for later, that appearance that he was constantly thinking.

“Do you want to be alone with him?” Eggsy’s voice was sincere, concerned, and Harry knew that the loss had affected him as well, grief that they’d shared from the moment Merlin had finally informed them that he had a particularly aggressive form of cancer, and his life was to be measured in weeks, if that.

“Stay, please,” he managed, and Eggsy nodded, hand slipping into his as Harry let himself lean against him, for once wishing the shoulder against his own reached just a bit higher.


End file.
